


Tales from the Other Side

by MsGordo_Writings



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Gen, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsGordo_Writings/pseuds/MsGordo_Writings
Summary: What do you do if you’re a creature of the night and you have to go and fulfill a sacred prophecy in Sunnydale? PANIC!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Tales from the Other Side

**Author's Note:**

> This work belongs to MsGordo (https://archiveofourown.org/users/kipplemine/profile) and has been posted with her express permission in order to preserve it from Yahoo Groups. If I have missed any tags or warnings, please feel free to let me know.

Title: Tales From The Other Side (1/1)  
Author: Karen  
Disclaimer: These two are all mine. The people they’re discussing are not.  
Pairings: Only one mentioned and it’s only in passing.  
Synopsis: What do you do if you’re a creature of the night and you have to go and fulfil a sacred prophecy in Sunnydale? PANIC!  
A/N: I have no idea where this came from. Sorry.

Dedication: For my Mel. Love you, babe.

“No!” The clawed hand hung onto the edge of the Dread Portal as though its very survival depended on it. Which funnily enough it did. “I’m not going and you can’t make me!”

“Doran, I’m ordering you by the Putrid and Fetid Rings of Anara to let go of that Portal and go out there and do your duty!” The High Priest of Arashmaha hit his acolyte smartly round his horned head with the Sacred Urn of B’unyn and tried to prise the huge, scaly fingers from the ancient wood, “You’re a warrior of the Vicious and Ferocious Masses and if you don’t go out there and make that prophecy come true, then I’m going to personally shoved your horned and many antlered head straight up your…Aaaah!” The priest was knocked to the floor as his terrified minion faked him out and spun away from the doorway to run to the far side of the dank, depressing dungeon.

“You don’t know what’s out there!” Doran, all nine feet and four hundred-stinky-and-purple-pounds of him, ducked behind the altar made of human bones and whimpered, “Remember what happened to Toth!”

“He got cocky.” The priest, N’aratu, stomped across the room after Doran and winced as one of his hooves split under the pressure, “Now look what you’ve made me do, I’ll have to wait days for the pedicurist to fix that.”

“What about Glorificus?” Doran wasn’t to be sidetracked from his hysterical train of thought, “Remember what she did to her?”

“She got lucky.” N’aratu made a grab for the trembling demon, “And she died! She’s not invincible.”

“She killed herself!” Doran ducked the grab and snatched a flaming torch from the wall to wave it protectively before him, “That doesn’t count.”

“Ow!” N’aratu yelped as the torch caught his arm and glared, “Watch it! You’re being ridiculous.”

“Right.” Doran snorted, “Tell that to that guy that tried to have the Ascension. Oh wait, you can’t, she blew him up!”

“Again, lucky.” The priest stopped his undignified game of tag and pulled his robes of flayed skin tightly around him, “She’d never have made it if her followers hadn’t aided her.”

Apparently this argument was the wrong one to take. “Hah! The followers! If she doesn’t get me they will.” Doran started to shake, “Did you see what that witch did when she lost her temper? I don’t think apocalypse is too strong a word, do you?”

“She’s very sorry about that.” The high priest sniffed disparagingly, “Its disgusting what she’s been doing to make amends for a very enjoyable few days. I’m afraid the witch is more likely to make you a cup of tea and read you an inspiring self-improvement book than vanquish you these days.”

“Well what about the two human men?” Doran was close to tears, “The younger one isn’t exactly averse to blowing up the undead or shooting us. He got her the rocket launcher. And the old man’s far too chop happy with a sword for my tastes.”

N’arartu threw up his claws in despair, “Is there anyone close to her that you aren’t scared of? What about the vampire with a soul?”

“Which one?” Black, oily tears of self-pity dripped off the end of the demon’s nose, “She’s collecting them like stamps. And that kid sister is a hair-puller!”

“You don’t have any hair!” The howl of exasperated annoyance bounced off the low, black ceiling, “And she’s a child.”

“A child with weapons.” Doran sniffed miserably, “And now she’s with that Destroyer kid and we all know how much of a sense of humour he’s got.” He raised his own claws and began to tick off on his thick fingers, “Not to mention that ex-vengeance demon, the seer, another Watcher and the two other humans.” Doran tilted his chin determinedly, “I’m not going out there and that’s final. Its suicide!”

“You’ve known all your life it’s your destiny to bring about the end of humanity, think of the glory, the feasting, the power…”

Doran stared at his priest like he’d grown an extra head (which he wasn’t due to do until next Tuesday) and backed away from the maniacal gleam in the other demon’s eye, “I’m more worried about the pain, the screaming, the death…Mine!”

“Very well, you leave me no choice. Ashanal, Woofalun, get him!” N’aratu gestured imperiously at the two demons that were watching the scene silently from the Dread Portal. The two demons exchanged looks and the smaller one (Woofalun) said nervously, “We don’t have to go with him do we?”

“No, just get him!” The priest had bled to a rather pleasant shade of blue in his anger and under his skin veins bulged alarmingly, “Just get him through that portal!”

“Right.” The two demons edged into the room and split to flank the wary Doran, “Sorry about this, pal.” Woofalun reached behind his back for a thick club, “But better you than us.” A short vicious battle followed and then Doran was dragged screaming to the portal.

“Master, no, no!” The portal flashed into life and Doran was heaved still screaming through it, “Noooo!!”

Ashanal waved as his pit-sibling disappeared screaming into the human world, “He’ll thank us for it when he’s crushed the humans underfoot and bathed in the blood of their children.”

N’aratu nodded, “Of course he will.” He clapped his claws together, “Now, who’s for chicken wings?”

*******************************

Doran had time to bounce twice before he hit the grass of the main cemetery in Sunnydale and then he found himself at the feet of a small, blonde woman. His eyes flashed with red fear as she cocked her head to one side and then leant down to sever his head from his body with one blow from her shiny sword. Buffy kicked the severed head away and turned back to Willow as she amused herself making loose leaves swirl around a giggling Dawn, “So, seriously, I’m thinking of going brunette, what do you think?”

Willow nodded thoughtfully, “It’d be a new look for you. Wanna go get some chicken wings? My treat.”

The End.


End file.
